Dear Santa…

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas (other than world peace and happiness of course) is for my plumber to come back to install my kitchen sink so I no longer have to wash up the dishes in the bathroom basin and while he is there it would be great if he could also hook up my laundry tub so that I don’t have to take all my washing to my brother’s house. I would be really grateful if you could get the electrician to return to install my lights because the globes hanging down from the ceiling look really bad. Maybe you could also get him to attach the stove and oven so I can stop eating out every night and then hopefully I won’t have to also ask you for a whole new wardrobe of clothes one size bigger.

I have been a very good girl this year Santa! I have worked really hard and have been nice to my husband (most of the time). I will be leaving some beer and chocolates out for you and your reindeer. I have destroyed both of our chimneys but there is still a big fat gaping hole in our ceiling that the plasterer still needs to come back and fix so I am sure you will be able to squeeze through.

I know you and your elves are very busy at this time of year making all the presents for kids around the world but I would be so grateful if you could just grant me these Christmas wishes and give my tradesmen a little nudge.

Eternally Grateful


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

P.S. Could you also grant me one more Christmas wish. If I ever think about renovating again – remind me of the nightmare I had this time around! Thanks so much.

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